i miss my depression and anxiety?
July 21st, 2010
fatalfable asked:
umm i wont get into any details to what my life was like cause you will spend an hour reading about it but i will say that i have gone through so much stuff that throughout my 15 years of living 12 years of it was shrouded with negativity, diseases, conditions, isolation, loneliness not always neccesarily at the same time the isolation and loneliness came about at 5th grade.
none of this really affected me too much untill around last september. It was kind of like an after affect to all that happened, i suffered through a chronic depression untill around this late febuary and i somehow just got cured until late april. March i got into some drugs, gained an uncurable perception disorder along with some pretty bad anxiety and a condition called depersonalization which caused me to stop the drugs. the anxiety went away a few weeks ago. Now i just moved to florida, friendless again (got my first friends in 8th grade till the end of this grade)
Im still a bit depressed right now but i some how miss my chronic depression. I kind of miss the choking feeling when your about to cry even though i never did. i miss the not eating for days, the weight on your shoulders, the pain you feel on your chest, all of it. I even crave for an anxiety attack to happen so my disorders symptoms will build up. All i can really think of is that since my life has been filled with all this stuff that this is all i know. I dont know how to socialize so i cant do much about getting a friend. Is there something severely wrong with this? Im not sure but i kind of want somekind of judgment from somebody about this. I cant talk to my mom about this since all she says is pray to God. As of right now i cant afford a therapist since i just moved. i had one but i stopped seing her once i got my condition since i spent most of my time in hospitals testing, and being in psych wards cause no doctor could find out what was wrong with me.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
so what your saying is that what i thought it was, thats what it is?
my mom doesent say much but the god stuff, and keeps on telling me the only reason i dont have friends and stuff is my fault and that she cant really do much else to help me.
Howard
umm i wont get into any details to what my life was like cause you will spend an hour reading about it but i will say that i have gone through so much stuff that throughout my 15 years of living 12 years of it was shrouded with negativity, diseases, conditions, isolation, loneliness not always neccesarily at the same time the isolation and loneliness came about at 5th grade.
none of this really affected me too much untill around last september. It was kind of like an after affect to all that happened, i suffered through a chronic depression untill around this late febuary and i somehow just got cured until late april. March i got into some drugs, gained an uncurable perception disorder along with some pretty bad anxiety and a condition called depersonalization which caused me to stop the drugs. the anxiety went away a few weeks ago. Now i just moved to florida, friendless again (got my first friends in 8th grade till the end of this grade)
Im still a bit depressed right now but i some how miss my chronic depression. I kind of miss the choking feeling when your about to cry even though i never did. i miss the not eating for days, the weight on your shoulders, the pain you feel on your chest, all of it. I even crave for an anxiety attack to happen so my disorders symptoms will build up. All i can really think of is that since my life has been filled with all this stuff that this is all i know. I dont know how to socialize so i cant do much about getting a friend. Is there something severely wrong with this? Im not sure but i kind of want somekind of judgment from somebody about this. I cant talk to my mom about this since all she says is pray to God. As of right now i cant afford a therapist since i just moved. i had one but i stopped seing her once i got my condition since i spent most of my time in hospitals testing, and being in psych wards cause no doctor could find out what was wrong with me.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
so what your saying is that what i thought it was, thats what it is?
my mom doesent say much but the god stuff, and keeps on telling me the only reason i dont have friends and stuff is my fault and that she cant really do much else to help me.
Howard
Categories: Health Issues | Tags: Isolation, Judgment, Wards | 5 Comments
