I think I have social anxiety? Really need someones advice?
June 18th, 2010
I’ve always wondered if i had some sort of anxiety disorder. I’m 16 and have major trouble with social situations. Found a site with symptoms of social anxiety disorder:
Excessive fear of public speaking
Avoidance of social situations
Extreme fear of being judged or embarrassed
Blushing, sweating, shaking, pounding heart
Extreme discomfort with dating
Panic attack
Heart palpitations
Difficulty breathing
Feeling disoriented
Feeling loss of control
Dizziness or feeling faint
Compulsion to escape
I have all these symptoms.
I still haven’t seen a doctor for this yet.
Social life ***** for me. I can barely look a girl in the eye let alone date. And right now I’m taking a class during summer school. Only three other students in the class, all of which i know. And I get nervous there. I always try to avoid going to peoples houses or if i am at one and they want to go to their friends house and want me to join, I try to make an excuse. Also recently I started taking meds for adhd, but have noticed these symptoms FAR before then. Though it seems the meds kind of increase my social awkwardness. I really want to see a doctor and maybe get something prepscribed. I still want to take my ADHD meds. So if anyone knows of a anxiety medication that doesnt react with my other meds, please tell me. I am currently taking Concerta 36mg
UPDATE: The only problem I have getting treatment, is money. I don’t even know, if i were prepscribed meds, my parents would be able to afford them.
Gary
Categories: Psychology | Tags: Extreme Fear, Heart Palpitations, Social Situations
Roy
The most effective treatment for anxiety is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Don’t jump into getting medicated for this because it is something you can overcome without changing your body’s chemistry. I would strongly recommend seeing a therapist (someone qualified!). They can help you overcome this fear of social situations. It takes time but it can be done.
Best wishes to you! You can do it!
Pete
Just so ya know..There are alot of other aspects of psycho-social issues with ADHD. PLus your a teenager and the hormosnes make everything worse. Talk to your ADHD doc as they would no best howe to proceed as you shoudl also be having counseling for these feelings of anxiety. I have adughter that has been on ADHD meds since 2nd grade and she has always had irrational fears, phobias, habuts whatever you want to call them, so its real common. Talk to your Dr. counselor. They have seen it all before.
Yvonne
I’ve had REALLY similar problems as you. First know that all of this social anxiety is all in your mind and it can be solved within the mind. Do not take meds because they are just chemicals that you are putting into your body and nothing is being solved. You are just going to make it worse, so stop it. I will try to help you with my answer through my experiences, knowledge and understandings;
First off the root of anxiety, shyness, nervousness, and so forth are from fear. When the mind is afraid then the body will get the messages, so then the body will turn tensed, rigid, have fast heart beats, ect.
My strategy to go against fear is this;
Now when your in a fearful situation such as being around people, well I want you to imagine every negative or positive outcome that may happen to you when your in a fearful situation and just “let it happen” instead of “preventing” it. When you try to prevent these outcomes made up in your mind, you create a barrier of fear, which makes your body turn tensed and rigid. Think about this though has fear ever benefited you in your whole life? Or has it instead made your situation worse by making your body turn tensed and rigid?
You are human, you are certainly going to die in this lifetime and so is everyone else. So “try” to “enjoy” every moment you can living, instead of living in “fear”. You can possibly die next week, next month or maybe in the next 2 years.
Okay next off with building self-confidence in yourself and to be around people see this;
We are all human and we ALL have good and bad qualities. There is no existing human that is perfect. We are all ordinary and equal. Our skin holds our flesh and bones together, we have a brain, heart, liver, lung, ears, nose, mouth. What makes us different from each other really? In reality we are all equal and the same.
Now you say you want to make friends right?
Well go and just talk to people! How?
“You won’t know until you try”
“Don’t doubt, attempt, make mistakes, learn, move forward, live”
You won’t know if a person you want to be friends with will be able to relate with you and would hang out with you until you yourself start talking to them in a friendly manner. Holding a decision is like making a delay, does it ever help? Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, humans make mistakes ALL the time, but what is important is that we “recognize” our mistake, “learn” from our mistake, and try to “avoid” doing it in the future.
Also if you want people to treat with well and with respect then you must also treat EVERYONE well and respectful.
” Treat others how you want them to treat you ”
” Whatever you do goes back to you ”
I am referring to karma.
If you treat a certain person badly, then you will get back the same treatment and it does not have to be from the same person you treated badly. So remember to treat everyone well ( that’s if you want the same treatment, which I’m sure you do). I’m not telling you to live your life at all, I’m just telling you the laws of karma, the laws of living.
***After I’ve done all of this to have more confidence in myself, there was still something missing and it was not loving myself. I couldn’t fully relate to people on how they might think of me, so what I had to do first was love myself in order to love others.
You hear this once and you’ll hear it again and its true;
” In order to love others you must first love yourself ”
So everyday when you wake up remember to love yourself to get yourself through the day.
Don’t be worried if you don’t “receive” love because that does not bring you true happiness, “giving” love brings more happiness than receiving for “ones own”. But remember in order to give love you most first love yourself because there must be a root that the love must start from, which is yourself, and then it grows and spreads onto others like a tree.
So in your case don’t worry if people don’t love you back, just remember what will truly make you happy and get you through a day is if you love yourself and love others, no need to receive as long as were giving, this is the formula of happiness.
note; I can’t live, be happy, talk to others feeling good if I don’t love myself, and accept myself. LOVE,ACCEPT,FORGIVE YOURSELF AND THEN TO OTHERS! =D
So conclusion, to not suffer and be happy;
*Expect yourself to “give” love, don’t expect to “receive”