i miss my depression and anxiety?
July 21st, 2010
fatalfable asked:
umm i wont get into any details to what my life was like cause you will spend an hour reading about it but i will say that i have gone through so much stuff that throughout my 15 years of living 12 years of it was shrouded with negativity, diseases, conditions, isolation, loneliness not always neccesarily at the same time the isolation and loneliness came about at 5th grade.
none of this really affected me too much untill around last september. It was kind of like an after affect to all that happened, i suffered through a chronic depression untill around this late febuary and i somehow just got cured until late april. March i got into some drugs, gained an uncurable perception disorder along with some pretty bad anxiety and a condition called depersonalization which caused me to stop the drugs. the anxiety went away a few weeks ago. Now i just moved to florida, friendless again (got my first friends in 8th grade till the end of this grade)
Im still a bit depressed right now but i some how miss my chronic depression. I kind of miss the choking feeling when your about to cry even though i never did. i miss the not eating for days, the weight on your shoulders, the pain you feel on your chest, all of it. I even crave for an anxiety attack to happen so my disorders symptoms will build up. All i can really think of is that since my life has been filled with all this stuff that this is all i know. I dont know how to socialize so i cant do much about getting a friend. Is there something severely wrong with this? Im not sure but i kind of want somekind of judgment from somebody about this. I cant talk to my mom about this since all she says is pray to God. As of right now i cant afford a therapist since i just moved. i had one but i stopped seing her once i got my condition since i spent most of my time in hospitals testing, and being in psych wards cause no doctor could find out what was wrong with me.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
so what your saying is that what i thought it was, thats what it is?
my mom doesent say much but the god stuff, and keeps on telling me the only reason i dont have friends and stuff is my fault and that she cant really do much else to help me.
Howard
umm i wont get into any details to what my life was like cause you will spend an hour reading about it but i will say that i have gone through so much stuff that throughout my 15 years of living 12 years of it was shrouded with negativity, diseases, conditions, isolation, loneliness not always neccesarily at the same time the isolation and loneliness came about at 5th grade.
none of this really affected me too much untill around last september. It was kind of like an after affect to all that happened, i suffered through a chronic depression untill around this late febuary and i somehow just got cured until late april. March i got into some drugs, gained an uncurable perception disorder along with some pretty bad anxiety and a condition called depersonalization which caused me to stop the drugs. the anxiety went away a few weeks ago. Now i just moved to florida, friendless again (got my first friends in 8th grade till the end of this grade)
Im still a bit depressed right now but i some how miss my chronic depression. I kind of miss the choking feeling when your about to cry even though i never did. i miss the not eating for days, the weight on your shoulders, the pain you feel on your chest, all of it. I even crave for an anxiety attack to happen so my disorders symptoms will build up. All i can really think of is that since my life has been filled with all this stuff that this is all i know. I dont know how to socialize so i cant do much about getting a friend. Is there something severely wrong with this? Im not sure but i kind of want somekind of judgment from somebody about this. I cant talk to my mom about this since all she says is pray to God. As of right now i cant afford a therapist since i just moved. i had one but i stopped seing her once i got my condition since i spent most of my time in hospitals testing, and being in psych wards cause no doctor could find out what was wrong with me.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
thanks for the sudgestions but im a guy unless your making fun of me which is ok i guess.
so what your saying is that what i thought it was, thats what it is?
my mom doesent say much but the god stuff, and keeps on telling me the only reason i dont have friends and stuff is my fault and that she cant really do much else to help me.
Howard
Categories: Health Issues | Tags: Isolation, Judgment, Wards
Stacy
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Noehmi
it sounds like you are avery sad little girl and it is sad you can not talk to your mom im not being mean at all but what it sounds like to me is your seeking attention in any way you can get it and i have severe panic attacks and i do not like the way they make me feel at all i just want them to stop i am 28 years old and i get scared to death when it happens to me so really you need to tell your mom the way you feel get back in to the doc and get on some meds asap tell her right now you need a doc you have prayed u need more help and me being a mother if my daughter came to me and told me she felt like you do i would get her help asap just try to make a friend or so also find activities t do skate swim go for walks and when you feel like this write your feeling down also if you are mad at someone for something they did to you when you was younger write them a letter get it off your chest you never have to send it just write it you might feel better good luck i hope you talk to your mom she will listen if you tell her EXACTLY how you feel
David
there is not much i can do to help you but i have been there after years of depression i finally got happy but then i actually missed the sadness the cutting for a while i was addicted to pain i also used to have panic attacks i don’t any more and i still miss them i don’t know why just try not to think about those just know there are people like you you are not alone the only advice i can give you is no matter how hard it gets keep pushing on never give up i would have killed to know that i was not alone when all that was going on i hope this helps if not im sure will be able give you a better answer
Ruth
Since you were so used to feeling the way you did, I think it’s normal to miss those feelings. But I do think you should talk to a counselor if you can’t get a therapist at the moment. I’m 16 and have been depressed for years, but I **** the anxiety,crying, etc. I applaud you for getting help, because it’s just something I can’t bring myself to do.
JOHANNA
I went thru years of HELL, and panic attacks/anxiety. Now adays, I’m prettymuch good-to-go; no more freaking bad problems.
But n a little way, I CAN understand what you’re saying- it WAS a part of you, and now you really DO need to “amend” or change it to make you happy..I mean, REALLY happy, not like Stockholm happy…
Let me explain- what I meant b Stockholm happy is just the when a kidnapped person grows affection for their captor, they call that the Stockholm effect. This is similar because you’re “addicted” or “in love” with your previous captor of your emotions, mind, etc.
So, you need to have some counseling about that part.
Now, I mean i kinda know what you mean is cause when I had those awful attacks, hey, I actually tried LOVING THEM, EMBRACING THEM, HATING THEM , LVING WITH THEM, and so on…
and when I got back int omy mainstream hobbies and no-drug policy partying, I got better and basically forgot about those nasty attacks and 24/7 anxiety.
So, you might think that hisis all you know , and for now, it might be, BUT, you should, or WILL, get out of that unreal-feeling and viewing. Things will stop shaking, and your world will expand rather than be so compact, and you’ll re-adapt to living without the affliction of anxiety and panic attacks.
It kinda sounds like YOU also emraced your attacks as a way to cope. That isnt so bad, for tHEN, a time when you had no choice. But now it sounds like you’re intelligent and you have that choice to make it all go away.
You can do anythigyou put your mind to, and get assistance in the form of a psychotherapist/counselor, and you might start seeing a huge freedom progreessing and feeling of better well-being, etc.
Far as God goes, this is a free country, but having a hiher power and FAITH in god can help…but I don’t like people who “shove” religion down someone’s thoat. If that’s happening, then no wonder ur reluctant to pray. BUT, it like, kinda can’t hurt, if u believe.
Anyhow, sounds like you can get over this combo of phases in ur life. and dude, ur gonna want to , because really, is living in hospitals and taking mass amounts of repetitive tests really that fun? After all, instead of that, you could become like a millionaire or better!