How do I help my girlfriend fight her depression and anxiety disorders?
November 24th, 2009
Steve E. asked:
My girlfriend has been dealing with depression and anxiety disorders for a very long time. She’s seeing a therapist and she really wants to get better but from the outside, it’s very disheartening that I feel helpless. I want to see her happy but I don’t feel like that is in my power at all any more. I’m, generally, a very happy person and am not bothered by much and I’ve tried to be as supportive and upbeat as possible during this very hard time for us but during the last couple of weeks, I’ve started to feel like there’s just nothing I can do anymore. She’s been on and off medications for a little bit and she sees a new psychiatrist in a couple weeks to get a new evaluation but is there anything I can recommend to her? Anything I can do to help her stay positive? I try my best but I’m out of ideas. Thanks for any ideas you can provide.
Update to question.
Thanks for all the answers! A little more information to respond to some of you. I’ve been trying my best to be a rock for her. I don’t get angry with her often (but as stated, it’s hard and I do get frustrated sometimes). I could definitely do more of the ‘little things’ and will try that. *** life isn’t lacking in the least, but i appreciate that answer because it made me chuckle. x=P I (being a male) do tend to listen to her and then try and fix things and I’ve been trying to do the ‘just listen’ thing lately. And she’s not very transparent at all, so noticing her change in moods has never been a problem, but getting them to change usually poses the largest challenge. Thanks again for the answers and keep them coming if you have any other ideas! x=)
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My girlfriend has been dealing with depression and anxiety disorders for a very long time. She’s seeing a therapist and she really wants to get better but from the outside, it’s very disheartening that I feel helpless. I want to see her happy but I don’t feel like that is in my power at all any more. I’m, generally, a very happy person and am not bothered by much and I’ve tried to be as supportive and upbeat as possible during this very hard time for us but during the last couple of weeks, I’ve started to feel like there’s just nothing I can do anymore. She’s been on and off medications for a little bit and she sees a new psychiatrist in a couple weeks to get a new evaluation but is there anything I can recommend to her? Anything I can do to help her stay positive? I try my best but I’m out of ideas. Thanks for any ideas you can provide.
Update to question.
Thanks for all the answers! A little more information to respond to some of you. I’ve been trying my best to be a rock for her. I don’t get angry with her often (but as stated, it’s hard and I do get frustrated sometimes). I could definitely do more of the ‘little things’ and will try that. *** life isn’t lacking in the least, but i appreciate that answer because it made me chuckle. x=P I (being a male) do tend to listen to her and then try and fix things and I’ve been trying to do the ‘just listen’ thing lately. And she’s not very transparent at all, so noticing her change in moods has never been a problem, but getting them to change usually poses the largest challenge. Thanks again for the answers and keep them coming if you have any other ideas! x=)
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Categories: Health Issues | Tags: Anxiety Disorders, Couple Weeks, Moods
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give her chocolates! or eat chocolate ice cream! that could make her happy! =D
wonderful! chivalry is not dead.
ummm you have to be strong, in your boundaries and really know who you are. the two of you are in a relartionship, so however healthy you may be is what she can draw from you. if you are trying to get support and care from someone who is mentally unstable then you will constantly be up and down all the time as she goes up and down… STABILITY IS WHAT SHE NEEDS WHILE SHE WALKS DOWN HER OWN PATH. you take care of you, love her, and encourage her. If she does not get worse, she will get better. once she starts getting better, encouyrage her to visist whaT HAS BEEN HELPFUL AS THe depression and anxiety reoccurs. if you are not stable and emotionally fit, her ups and downs will only be complicated by yours as well. So have a support system for you, practice uncondtional acceptance for her, and continue to ask questions and be honest with yourself.
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Sometimes exercise and fresh air can help. Maybe take walks together?
It might be worth going to one of the Psych sessions with her, if she’s ok with that, just to listen, and maybe ask the doctor for suggestions.
And sometimes, a sad person doesn’t need an upbeat person, but rather someone to cry with them.
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i would be supportive and just show her that she is loved and cared for, theres not much else you can do but just be there for her to make sure she keeps on track and makes sure shes not feeling alone or anything. if she has the determination to get better she will but it takes time and im sure you know that but make sure you look after yourself too. hope this helps.
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Give her all your support and love.Also try to move her in a positive way.Do positive things together,like helping out..etc.Give her as much love as you can..
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First off you are SO SWEET for wanting to help so much! I also suffer from depression and anxiety and I know that I like someone to just listen to me when I tell them my problems. and when im done I dont want my guy to try to fix the problems (even though you will want to try to offer a solution) girls just want to see that you are listening and are there for them. If she needs to cry, get her tissues and hold her. Just remind her about everything you love about her. Sometime surprise her with a card or something cute like that (it doesn have to be expensive you can even make the card!) Or make her, her favorite food. also, I know it can be frustrating but try not to get mad at her! Oh and if you try to get her to go and do things all the time and she says she just wants to stay home, let her stay home…maybe watch a movie or something. Sometimes we dont want to go out and do things all the time, even though people think it will take our minds off things.
I know its hard to try to help and you think everything is hopeless, but we feel that way sometimes too. But we know that you try and that makes us feel much better knowing that someone cares.
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Has anyone considered the plain and simple treatment of *******? I am not being silly or sarcastic either. Pent up energy of this kind without release can cause people to become angry, unstable, depressed, aggressive, etc…It takes a patient, loving, guiding, and understanding partner to help in this way. Not everything is solved by medicine and therapists.
She’s very lucky to have someone who cares deeply about her; that already helps more than you know. I’ve been dealing with the same kinds of problems your gf has and my fiance has been a lifesaver.
I think that the thing I was most thankful for in hindsight was the fact that he always made time for me if I told him I needed it and never appeared irritated. After a while he could kind of tell when I was anxious and would try to get my mind off of it. I still feel bad sometimes because I don’t want to bother him with my crap but his paitence helps alleviate that a bit.
One of the best things I think though is that he’ll sometimes just tell me to sit down and relax then go and turn the water on and make me a bubble bath (which I would never do for myself). It sounds so cheesy but it helps get me in a mood where I can at least be reasonable about the emotions that i’m feeling and try to work through them rather than becoming overwhelmed.
I guess overall, I would recommend to be cognizant of the little things that she likes and use those to try to break down that wall of insane emotion that happens when she gets anxious. If you can help quell the larger things, the smaller ones become a lot easier to deal with.
She might want to try something like yoga if she is more low-key or maybe a kickboxing class/martial arts if shes a little more high-strung. Try looking at classes at your local parks and recreation department or community college. You might find something you guys can do together.
But hang in there and don’t give up, I know its a really really hard thing to go through from either side but it’ll get better. You’re a great guy for sticking by her.
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A study found that getting out in fresh air and exorsizing for 20M or so had the same benefit’s as anti-depressants.
So maybe going out jogging together in the morning for 10M or something may help.