How can I live with seemingly permanent anxiety?
July 26th, 2010
I seem to have more existential angst than others and it’s causing me great pain in my life. I’ve been treated for anxiety disorder in the past but am currently not on meds. Years ago I could barely function. Now things are much more stable and under control, but I still find myself frequently trapped in cycles of anxiety, with no real idea of what triggers them. The thoughts which cause me anxiety seem so strange to some people that I rarely share my thoughts. I have seen psychologists and psychiatrists but all have made me feel more depressed than before.
Just as an example of something that bothers me – I love to read and I get very emotionally involved with the characters. I realize these people are fictional – I’m an adult. I’m not crazy. Even so, after a certain point, I get so attached to them that the knowledge that they aren’t real starts to drive me crazy. The only cure is to stop thinking about these characters and of course avoid reading about them entirely. (Easier for some obsessions than others – at the moment, it is impossible to escape from Harry Potter madness.) In other cases, I might become a huge fan of a musician, actor, etc. and then be in a similar state of dread because I realize I can never feasibly know this person.
Such obsessions then lead me to question everything that I value – if I can be so upset over people who aren’t even real or who I don’t know, then do any of my actual relationships, beliefs, etc. matter at all? Maybe all of it is just as meaningless at the core. I don’t really believe that, but that’s how it feels sometimes.
I also suffer from the more “typical” existential angst concerning thoughts of “what is the point of life?”, “does anything matter at all?” etc. I find it hard to enjoy everyday routines the way I see many of my friends doing, and I’m jealous of them.
While I realize many people go through this at some point, I feel like I should be past it. I’ve been going through this since age 12 and I’m now 27. I only feel truly happy in highly stimulating situations where I’m in a state of constant entertainment. I cannot handle boredom or even being alone with my thoughts.
I’m not suicidal; I would never in a million years do that to my family. I’m just frustrated with having to deal with these feelings again and again after so many years. Does anyone else have these problems, and how do you manage them? How can I live a normal life? How can I just relax and be happy?
I’m sorry this is so long – thank you very much for reading (if anyone still is!)
Elijah
Categories: Health Issues | Tags: Adult, Anxiety Disorder, Harry Potter
MICHAEL
1. Remember that work is not the only facet to your life. In these demanding times, it’s easy to focus more on the workplace, but finding a time to “play” is just as important. Making special time to enjoy interests, hobbies, and family, not only makes life happier, but helps us be more productive on the job.
2. Realize that you are just as important as other people — and say “no” when your obligations and responsibilities are too much. You can only spread yourself so thin before you’re no good for yourself or anyone else.
3. Don’t compare yourself to other people – at work or in your personal life. In the first place, no one knows what other people are going through. More importantly, when you compare yourself to other people, you always tend to see yourself on the “short end”. So this is never a good or helpful thing for you to do.
4. Make a scheduled time every day for relaxation.
This is not a “lazy” relaxation, but a time when you regroup, let go of your stresses, and read something that is positive and uplifting. This is a good time to go over any therapy that you’re working on. Having a “relaxation” time or a “quiet time” every day strengthens you, allows the stress and tension in your life to evaporate, and keeps you more on a positive, even keel.
6. Take time to laugh at yourself and the situations you find yourself in. Laughter is a powerful, positive medicine and the calmer and more peaceful you can take things, the happier your life will be.
7. Surround yourself with friends who are positive, encouraging, and helpful. This has a nice reciprocal benefit: As you are positive and encouraging to others, your friends become positive and encouraging to you. We all need this continuing, positive encouragement to make solid positive progress in life.
8. If you have problems getting your feelings and opinions out, learn the techniques of self-assertion, rather than using anger or avoidance by bottling them all up inside. Burying your feelings and pushing them deep down into yourself only creates blockages in your growth and progress as a human being.
9. Relax, calm down, take things slower. The cliché is passé, but there’s a big element of truth to it: When you stop to smell the roses, the world is just a brighter, happier, and more beautiful place to live.
JOSH
I hope you know that you are not alone!
I have very similar issues myself. I think that you might suffer from OCD obsessive compulsive disorder. I wish I had a better answer for you as it seems you are really suffering right now.
Esther
I’ll answer you in very similar fashion to how I answered another Asker with obvious symptoms of anxiety. It doesn’t much matter whether your anxiety is of an existential variety or whether it’s much more down to earth. Anxiety without an obvious cause in terms of events is chronic anxiety and requires treatment — period. You may be risking your sanity by resisting treatment by professionals. The fact that you were earlier treated with medication and are no longer on meds tells me that your symptoms may have a biochemical basis to them, even if there is a triggering event. For the last couple of decades psychology professionals have begun more and more to see that the onset of depression and anxiety is somewhat like the onset and worsening of epilepsy. The trauma which initiates the chain can actually have an affect to your “brain wiring”, is the theory, and a biochemical imbalance may be the result which worsens as time goes on without chemical intervention. Paxil in particular is highly effective in relieving anxiety — especially when combined with depression. Without something to interrupt the vicious cycle of trauma > damage > more trauma > more damage you could be headed for a condition which may not respond well to either emotional or chemical therapy. You need to go see a psychiatrist (not a psychologist or family therapist). Don’t worry about Paxil possibly causing a change in personality. It won’t. It will simply relieve the symptoms and allow you to live more normally. If your doctor prescribes it he may tell you to take it at night, but I’ll advise you to take your first few days of doses in the morning. Initially and while your body gets used to the chemical it may cause interrupted sleep and strange and frightening dreams. If you are young (up to early 20s) you need to keep in close touch with your doctor until you’re sure the chemical is effective. Be on guard against thoughts of *******. This side effect has been fairly widely reported with young people. Tell your doctor immediately if you feel such as this and he will probably change the medication to something else for at least a while.